A Spork in the Drawer

Saturday Palate Cleanser

A little Christmas cheer from the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl:

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The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

The War on Christmas has begun!

Let's go, "Secular Progressives", it's time to carpet bomb some crèches!

Woohoo!

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Have A Holly Jolly Death

Across the pond:

Children watched in horror as a Santa Claus collapsed and died as he handed out presents at a Christmas party on Sunday.

Andrew Robertson was taken ill as the excited youngsters received their gifts. The 82-year-old was taken to a side room and attempts made to revive him, but he was pronounced dead when medics arrived.

Mr Robertson, from Dundee, had played Santa at the city's Broughty Castle bowling club Christmas party, held for the grandchildren of members, for several years.

[...]

"The kids saw him getting taken away," he told the Courier newspaper. "They knew something was wrong with Santa Claus as he went away with the two guys, but they didn't see anything further.

No doubt Bill O'Reilly will be editorializing against the Grim Reaper.

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WTF?

[shakes head]:

O'REILLY: Sixty-two percent of Americans will have a Christmas tree, but most of the trees will be artificial.

E.D. HILL (co-host): That surprises me. Only 62 percent have Christmas --

O'REILLY: Yeah. And here -- and here's a very -- here's something that Rasmussen didn't poll but I know, that most women who like artificial trees --

HILL: Yeah?

O'REILLY: -- have artificial breasts.

HILL: What?

O'REILLY: Did you know that? Yeah. There's a correlation. Yeah, there was a study done --

HILL: You know --

O'REILLY: It was. It was done at UCLA in L.A. All right --

HILL: I don't believe you --

O'REILLY: -- we gotta take a break -- we gotta take a break, and we'll be back with Reverend Barry Lynn to talk about why there's so much angst about Christmas in a moment.

That's the Christmas spirit!

Really, watching Billo is like watching monkeys at a zoo. Only the monkeys have more dignity.

(As a side note: E.D. Hill's previous name was Edie Tarbox. I never get tired of pointing that out.)

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Only In America!

I happened to glance out of my window a little awhile ago and noticed the neighbors across the street had their living room shades wide open. Clearly visible was a big ol' Christmas tree festooned with lights, a star on top, the whole nine yards. And in the window? A menorah!

Shhhh...don't tell Bill O'Reilly!

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ADDED: Speaking of Billo...

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Clean Sweep

Behold the power of the Peace Wreath:

Last week, a couple were threatened with fines of $25 a day by their homeowners’ association unless they removed a four-foot wreath shaped like a peace symbol from the front of their house.

The fines have been dropped, and the three-member board of the association has resigned, according to an e-mail message sent to residents on Monday.

Two board members have disconnected their telephones, apparently to escape the waves of callers asking what the board could have been thinking, residents said. The third board member, with a working phone, did not return a call for comment.

For once, sanity prevails.

[Via Think Progress.]

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Backing Down

CNN:

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A subdivision has withdrawn its threat of $25 daily fines against a homeowner who put a Christmas wreath shaped like a peace sign on the front of her home.

Homeowner Lisa Jensen told The Associated Press on Monday that the board of directors of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association had apologized, called the incident a misunderstanding and had withdrawn its request for the wreath's removal.

Like hell it was a misunderstanding. Some residents went so far as to call the symbol "satanic." No, they backed down because they looked like a bunch of ignorant jackasses. Which, of course, they are.

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Some People Are Insane

Meanwhile, in Colorado:

A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.

Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.

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Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."

Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.

"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus."

[Via AmericaBlog.]

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