A Spork in the Drawer

Random Thought

Perhaps someday the Democrats will have a majority in Congress.

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There's No Talking To Some People

Oy:

At a recent town-hall meeting in suburban Simpsonville, a man stood up and told Rep. Robert Inglis (R-S.C.) to "keep your government hands off my Medicare."

"I had to politely explain that, 'Actually, sir, your health care is being provided by the government,' " Inglis recalled. "But he wasn't having any of it."

[Via The Shrill One.]

The Backfire Effect

In short, providing "conservatives" with evidence that refutes their belief in something only serves to reinforce that belief.

I've observed the same effect with Conspiracy Theorists.

Which may not be unrelated.

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Fox News: Master Cartographers

From MMFA:

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Perhaps The Question Should Be...

...where are her editors?

[Via Oliver Willis.]

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Who Knew?

Whoopi Goldberg, Moon Hoaxer.

Buzz Aldrin knows what to do with her:

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How Can This Even Be Possible?

Soon to be Formergovernor Moose-for-Brains promises that "less politically correct twitters fly frm my fingertps" once she officially quits.

Less "politically correct"? How? Freely using racial epithets? Describing crude sex acts in 140 characters or less?

Actually, I might sign up for the latter.

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RNC Chief Michael Steele, Explained

Jesse:

To clarify, Michael Steele just said that the Republican Party, founded in 1854, outlawed slavery by putting the 1954 version of a pledge written in 1892 in the Constitution in 1787, which in turn outlawed slavery in 1865, which was before the British did it in 1833.

If you watch the video at the link or read Alex Koppelman you'll see that Steele has much deeper problems than historical and logical ignorance.

And I mean problems.

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Meltdown

No shortage of Hitlers.

New, improved Tasers. Longer range, just as deadly.

Obama book banned in prisons.

Swimming pool re-segregated in Philly.

A bone through his nose.

Have I mentioned Hitler?

Finally, there's Hitler.

I don't know if this country is becoming too stupid to survive or too crazy.

Perhaps both.

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The Stupidest Person On The Face Of The Earth

The "Department of Law"?

Good grief.

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Random Thought

If there were 99 members of the Senate Democratic Caucus Harry Reid would allow the one remaining Republican set the agenda.

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Republican Math

In a 5-4 decision all 9 Supreme Court justices voted against Sonia Sotomayor.

We should call this "Base-Republican Mathematics."

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A Novel Idea

Loyal Bushie Greg Mankiw takes to the pages of the NYT to offer his solution to the health care crisis. The "Mankiw Plan" in sum:

In the end, it would be a mistake to expect too much from health insurance reform. A competitive system of private insurers, lightly regulated to ensure that the market works well, would offer Americans the best health care at the best prices.

Greg, honey, THAT'S THE SYSTEM WE HAVE NOW.

Idiot.

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Your Modern GOP

Sen. Jim De-lovely De-lightful DeMint (R-Sharp as a Bag of Wet Mice) believes the Constitution was written in 1776.

I'm starting to think that there's something seriously wrong with South Carolina.

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The Id(iots) Of The Village

Oh good god. The WaPo's Dana Milbank and Chris Cilliza review recent events:

Has anything before so well illustrated the mentality of our "Liberal" Media?

Remember, kids: Bloggers are killing journalism!

dday has more to say.

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Jackass Of The Day

Guardian art critic Jonathan Jones:

You won't often hear me call a photographer a genius. I think there's too much homage paid to an art that's basically just holding up a piece of machinery and pushing a button.

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Conservatives...

...have their own special dictionary:

[Via Think Progress.]

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Indulge Me

Pretend for a moment that I'm a late-night talk show host:

Sarah Palin is a dope.

BANG! I've just created a "news" firestorm!

Who knew that it was this easy?

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I Suppose It Has To Be Done

The Doughy Pantload is back on his "Libruls r the rill Naziiiiis!" kick thus forcing Dave Neiwert to give him another spanking.

I know a lot of people say we should just ignore this sort of thing but let's face it, one of the two major political parties in this country is now controlled by the likes of Goldberg. That's not unimportant.

(In a related matter, I find myself increasingly annoyed by the triumphalism coming from my side of the aisle, to wit: "The Republicans are doomed for generations! They'll have a hard time getting elected dogcatcher!" Even putting aside normal electoral swings we could still see Obama screw up on a massive scale or events screw Obama leading to an "anybody but Obama" mood. However unlikely, President Palin can't be ruled out.)
Also, Dave appeared on CNN last night to discuss the increasing amount of rightwing violence:

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Brain Dead And Tone Deaf

As a product tie-in for the latest Night at the Museum movie, McDonald's is putting a "General" (he was a lieutenant colonel*) George Armstrong Custer figurine in their Happy Meals™.

Including those sold in Lakota Sioux territory.

Next up from McDonald's: Handing out Hitler dolls in Tel Aviv!

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Clarification: As Ol' Froth points out in comments, during the Civil War Custer was promoted to Brevet Major General - "Brevet" meaning a temporary rank. After the war he was returned to the rank of major, rising to the rank of lieutenant colonel at the time of Little Bighorn.

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Just Make Them Go Away

Say HELLO to Kingsville, Texas:

In this friendly little ranching town, "hello" is wearing out its welcome. And Leonso Canales Jr. is happy as heck.

At his urging, the Kleberg County commissioners on Monday unanimously designated "heaven-o" as the county's official greeting. The reason: "hello" contains the word "hell."

[...]

On Thursday, courthouse employees were answering the phones, "heaven-o." And the chamber of commerce was working on a campaign promoting Kingsville, a Rio Grande Valley town of 25,000, as a "heavenly" place to visit.

A professor of English quite sensibly points out that the word "hello" is in no way related to the word "Hell."

[Via PZ.]

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Your Modern GOP

Republicans suggest that Judge Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation hearings should be delayed until 2011.

I wish I could say that I'm surprised.

Harry Reid responds.

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In Re: US Contitution, Article III, Section 3

Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Beijing):

The Straits Times reports that Kirk spoke to the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a Washington think tank, and discussed a meeting he had with Chinese leaders.

[...]

"One of the messages I had -- because we need to build trust and confidence in our number one creditor," said Kirk, "is that the budget numbers that the US government had put forward should not be believed. The Congress is actually gonna spend quite a bit more than what's in the budget, and the health-care bill probably being the lead driver of additional spending by the Congress."

The Logan Act:

The Logan Act (18 U.S.C.A. § 953 [1948]) is a single federal statute making it a crime for a citizen to confer with foreign governments against the interests of the United States. Specifically, it prohibits citizens from negotiating with other nations on behalf of the United States without authorization.*

All together now: If a Democrat had done this...

*However: "Because the language is so broad in scope, legal scholars and judges have suggested that the Logan Act is unconstitutional."

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Village Idiots

Remember, kids, Tweety and Howie "The Shame of Pittsburgh" Fineman are "liberals":

MATTHEWS: I have to tell you, time does heal all wounds. Aren't you amazed at how Newt Gingrich has come back almost like Lazarus, Howard? The guy was sort of taken out of this town on a rail. He was tarred and feathered. He had all kinds of personal problems we will not go into. He had all the problems you can imagine Clinton had, on top of the fact that he had blown it politically in the Congress. He had lost all credibility. Now, he's back as the Obi Wan Kenobi of the Republican Party.

FINEMAN: He's a statesman.

MATTHEWS: How'd that happen?

FINEMAN: If you hang around long enough, that's part of it.

MARTIN: Survivor.

FINEMAN: He's a survivor. He's a thoughtful guy. I mean, there's no question that he's a fascinating guy to listen to.

MATTHEWS: He is fascinating, the guy. He's one of the world's great fire crackers."

The cluelessness is a sight to behold.

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With Friends Like These...

"Centrist" "Democrats" (read: DINO's) aim to kill health care reform:

This leaked draft [pdf] of their upcoming policy paper shows that they're not even going for a hyper-incrementalist watering down of the public option--they're trying to kill it. Here's their premise:

Whether health care reform should include a "public plan" is an issue that now threatens to fracture the emerging consensus on health reform.  If left unresolved, the debate over a public plan could derail the broader reform agenda while other pressing issues central to reform are put on hold.

The proponents of a public plan seek the right goals—to broaden access and lower costs. But there is a very real danger that an overly intrusive public plan can ultimately undermine these very goals and destabilize the private-sector coverage that middle-class Americans—i.e., Harry and Louise—depend on and are largely satisfied with.

In other words, status quo FOREVER.

For all the gory details see mcjoan.

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The Things You Learn On The Internets

It turns out I'm not a US citizen. According to Newt, that is:

GINGRICH: I am not a citizen of the world. I am a citizen of the United States because only in the United States does citizenship start with our creator. [...] I think this is one of the most critical moments in American history. We are living in a period where we are surrounded by paganism.

No atheists need apply.

I'm kidding about not having known that I'm not a US citizen because back in 1987 the Elder Bush told me so:

Sherman: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?

Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.

(Please don't tell anyone I've been voting all this time.)

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Who Says The Republicans Are Out Of Touch?

Solution to the budget problem? Kill your children:

Rather than proposing, for example, the elimination of the Education Department, as they have in the past, Republicans are suggesting killing a program that pays for building sidewalks, bike paths and crossing guards as part of the Safe Routes to Schools program. That would save $183 million a year.

Culture of life, indeed.

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Happy Fist Bump Day!

The terrorists have won and somewhere a now-unemployed Edie Tarbox is weeping.

Dap away!

[Via BooMan.]

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Simile (Jonah Goldberg Edition)

Barack Obama is to Chrysler and GM as Hitler was to Volkswagen.

[Via John Cole.]

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Sentence Upheld

You might recall the Case of the Eyebrow Shaver of Mass Death™. Well, the full Penn Hills school board has heard the appeal and...

The Penn Hills school board decided Tuesday night to uphold a 15-year-old student's expulsion for showing up at school with an eyebrow shaver in her handbag.

[...]

"I don't consider it a weapon. It's not," said Jetter.

Ah, Miss Jetter, welcome to modern America! Just be happy you weren't sentenced to life in prison; after all, Saddam was known to have eyebrow shavers as well.

You can't be too careful, y'know.

The P-G details the threat:

At a private meeting earlier yesterday, board member Erin Vecchio cut her finger while examining the shaver and required stitches.

Expulsion, even prison, is too good for remorseless criminals like Jetter. I call for a public hanging!

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Minority Outreach

Manuel Miranda, leader of the opposition to Sonia Sotomayor (and unconvicted felon) on the difference between Hispanics and Blacks:

Hispanic polls, Hispanic surveys, indicate that Hispanics think just like everyone else. We’re not like African-Americans. We think just like everybody else.

Now, accusations of racism will be met with howls of outrage. As we all know, calling someone a racist is far worse than being a racist.

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Reading Is Fundamentalist

From Sadly, No!

(Only the red underscoring has been added.)

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It's Going Be A Long Couple Of Months

Judge Sotomayor is unqualified for the Supreme Court because she enjoys Puerto Rican food:

This has prompted some Republicans to muse privately about whether Sotomayor is suggesting that distinctive Puerto Rican cuisine such as patitas de cerdo con garbanzo — pigs’ tongue and ears — would somehow, in some small way influence her verdicts from the bench.

Curt Levey, the executive director of the Committee for Justice, a conservative-leaning advocacy group, said he wasn’t certain whether Sotomayor had claimed her palate would color her view of legal facts but he said that President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee clearly touts her subjective approach to the law.

[Via TPM.]

Poe's Law:

Poe's Law relates to fundamentalism, and the difficulty of identifying actual parodies thereof. It suggests that, in general, it is hard to tell fake fundamentalism from the real thing, since they may both espouse equally extreme beliefs. Poe's law also works in reverse: real fundamentalism can also be indistinguishable from parody fundamentalism.

Substitute "conservatism" for "fundamentalism" and you're good to go.

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ADDED: Dijon mustard. It always comes back to Dijon mustard.

Will the treason never end?

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True Story

Back when I was in college I had a friend who insisted on pronouncing the name of the German composer Richard Wagner wag-ner rather than the correct VAHG-ner. The reasoning? "I'm an American and I pronounce things the American way." (Yes, he was a conservative Republican. Why do you ask?)

Not that there's a reason why I tell this story now.

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Fun With Zero Tolerance Policies

What's remarkable is accepted these things are:

A Penn Hills teenager was suspended from middle school when a random search turned up an eyebrow shaver in her handbag.

Officials at Linton Middle School recommended at a disciplinary hearing yesterday that 15-year-old Taylor Ray Jetter be expelled for the rest of this year and 45 days next year.

Jetter doesn't believe that eyebrow shavers are weapons.

This is because, unlike school officials nationwide, she's sane.

That having been said, perhaps the school's proactive stance saved lives:

She's a Girl Scout and a member of the school's basketball team, choir and leadership team.

A real menace to society, she is.

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Big Day!

Major foreign policy addresses from both President Cheney and former Vice-president Obama.

I'm sure Our Very Serious "News" Media will give them both the attention they deserve.

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Crazy Talk

House Minority Leader Weepin' John Boehner (R-Tan in a Can) ridicules the very idea that the CIA would ever lie.

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Harry Reid

Worst Senate Majority Leader ever or worstest?

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Your Liberal Media

Press the Meat's David "Dances with Roves" Gregory speaks:

"I am very passionate about this job," Gregory summed up. " I want that to come through."

Sometimes, his passion shows up in awkward ways. Last Sunday, for example, Gregory interviewed White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. When Gibbs failed to offer up a Drudge-quality sound bite, Gregory pressed him, cutting into his answers on occasion.

Because, as we all know, answers that fit on to a bumper sticker are the best way to enlighten people about the issues and the political process. And, of course, Drudge rules their world.

But this takes the biscuit:

When I asked Gregory to name his dream guests, he reeled off a litany of political leaders -- and a surprise: Oprah Winfrey.

Yes, because of the 6.5bn people on this planet the most important, the most intriguing, is a daytime teevee entertainer/sob sister.

Now run off to your dance lesson, Stretch!

[Via Romenesko.]

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Bonus Random Thought

The NYT's Jeff Zeleny is an idiot:

QUESTION: Thank you, Mr. President.

During these first 100 days, what has surprised you the most about this office, enchanted you the most about serving in this office, humbled you the most and troubled you the most?

MR. OBAMA: Let me write this down. (Laughter.)

QUESTION: Surprised.

MR. OBAMA: All right. I've got --

QUESTION: Troubled.

MR. OBAMA: I've got -- what was the first one?

QUESTION: Surprised.

MR. OBAMA: Surprised.

QUESTION: Troubled.

MR. OBAMA: Troubled.

QUESTION: Enchanted.

MR. OBAMA: Enchanted. Nice. (Laughter.)

QUESTION: And humbled.

MR. OBAMA: And what was the last one, humbled?

QUESTION: Humbled.

Thank you, sir.

MR. OBAMA: All right. (Laughter.) Okay. (Laughter.)

Nicely handled, Mr. Obama.

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Hoot-Smalley

If anything, Michele Bachmann is becoming crazier.

Here is Minnesota's 6th. Congressional District:

If you value your sanity at all, stay out of it.

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The Miraculous Miraculousness Of Technological Innovation

Google Starts Twittering News Headlines

By 2010 all news stories will be comprised of one noun and one adjective/verb.

[Via Romenesko.]

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Dumber Than A Box Of Rocks

More data:

[W]e found that individual-level political ideology significantly predicted perceptions of Colbert's political ideology. Additionally, there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism.

Genuine rightwing nutcase...to the terminally dim.

[Via Steve Benen.]

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Timing Is Everything

First there was Bobby Jindal's mocking of volcano monitoring followed shortly by the eruption of Alaska's Mt. Redoubt.

And now we see (by way of Attaturk) that the "moderate" and "bipartisan" Republican Senator from Maine, Susan Collins, had another concern:

Susan was successful in eliminating this wasteful spending. Luckily for her, there's no chance of a flu pandemic.

Ooops.

Republicans - always thinking ahead.

(Would it be churlish of me to point out that Texas Gov. Rick "Secession Now!" Perry is demanding that the Feds hand over anti-virals to him? Yes, yes it would.)

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Yes, Comical

House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-PermaTan) on global warming:

George, the idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen that is harmful to our environment is almost comical.

Over the last week we've had juvenile fun with the righties and their mass public teabaggings. There's been something of a backlash against that - instead of giggling like junior high schoolers why don't we address their complaints in an adult, rational fashion?

Well, take a look at that quote from Boehner again. That's why.

The modern Republican Party doesn't do debate, they string together buzzwords to create incoherent aural bumperstickers. Facts and reality don't enter in to it (We create our own reality, said the Bush advisor).

As far as I'm concerned, as long as Republicans insist on this sort of nonsense then ridicule is the proper, indeed, the only rational, response.

[Via TPMDC.]

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Random Question

Has Texas left the Union yet?

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Way To Confuse 'Em

Friend o' the spork and all-around swell fella Sinfonian attends his local teabagging and confuses the hell out of the wingnuts:

...and is subsequently featured on Keith Olbermann's show.

Way to go, Sinf!

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Another Rightwing Moran

[Via the Lake.]

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GWOT

Dead.

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The World According To Richard Cohen

It's not CNBC's fault or Jim Cramers fault or AIG's fault or Citigroup's fault it's all the fault of Jon Stewart.

Jameson Foser reminds us that Cohen also attacked Stephen Colbert for his famous mocking of the media at the 2006 White House Correspondent's Dinner.

And let's remember that Cohen explained his support for the invasion and occupation of Iraq thusly:

On the contrary, I thought. We are a good country, attempting to do a good thing. In a post-Sept. 11 world, I thought the prudent use of violence could be therapeutic. The United States had the power to change things for the better, and those who would do the changing -- the fighting -- were, after all, volunteers. This mattered to me.

Cohen concludes today's column with some advice for Stewart: "...he ought to turn his wit inward: Mocker, mock thyself."

Richard Cohen is a disturbed individual.

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Who Weeps For Michael Gerson?

Loyal Bushie and current WaPo columnist Michael Gerson is upset that President Obama's agenda isn't the same as Michael Gerson's.

So, so sad.

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