A Spork in the Drawer

60 And Done

And thus begins The Al Franken Decade.

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Update: Norm throws in the towel.

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To The Highest Bidder

Republicans effectively eliminate the Federal Elections Commission.

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Republican Math

In a 5-4 decision all 9 Supreme Court justices voted against Sonia Sotomayor.

We should call this "Base-Republican Mathematics."

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Everything Old Is New Again

Bush 2.0:

President Obama signed the $106 billion war-spending bill into law Friday, but not without taking a page from his predecessor and ignoring a few elements in the legislation.

Obama included a five-paragraph signing statement with the bill, including a final paragraph that outlined his objections to at least four areas of the bill.

[...]

The Obama administration announced in the statement it would disregard provisions of the legislation that, among other things, would compel the Obama administration to pressure the World Bank to strengthen labor and environmental standards and require the Treasury department to report to Congress on the activities of the World Bank and International Monetary Fund (IMF).

Three months ago:

In another effort to undo acts by the previous administration, President Obama issued a memo Monday instructing executive branch officials to ignore Bush administration signing statements, the written assertions presidents sometimes make when signing bills that raise constitutional questions.

At the same time, Obama cited the guidelines he would follow in issuing his own signing statements.

He signaled that, unlike President George W. Bush, he would not use signing statements to do end runs around Congress. [emphasis added]

Feeling the hopenchange yet?

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A Bit Of Robert Demachy

Female Nude, ca. 1900-1910


Robbert Demachy at Wikipedia
Pictorialism
How to make a bromoil print

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The End Is Neigh1

A reader (or perhaps spammer - but anyway…) forwards an e-mail from something called “The Last Trumpet Ministries.” With a name like that you just know that we’re gonna get into some peachy eschatology. Behold a horse pail!²

First up, Nominee to the Supreme Court Sonia Sotomayor:

Is it any wonder that Obama picked the communist Sonia Sotomayor to become the next U.S. Supreme Court Justice?... This is the woman, Sonia Sotomayor, who stated that her favorite thing to do is to “watch the program Law and Order, and to eat pig intestines, pig ears, tongues, and feet.” She volunteered this information. We know from Mark 5:11-12 that if demons cannot live inside people, their second choice is pigs.

[…]

There are strange spirits working in Sonia Sotomayor, and Barack Hussein Obama has a great admiration for her. In her speeches, she continually refers to herself as a “wise woman.” Here let it be noted that the words “witch” and “Wicca” mean wise one!

But is she heavier than a duck?



Senate Judiciary Committe Chair Pat Leahy with Sotomayor

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Better that Sotomayor turn Barack Hussein Obama into a newt rather than a Newt, if you get my meaning.³

It should go without saying that any fundie-whackjob screed informational newsletter wouldn’t be complete without Barack Hussein Obama, Secret Non-Christian:⁴

The religion of Barack Hussein Obama becomes more mysterious every day. What god does he truly worship? On May 30th, 2009, Barack Obama and his wife made their first trip to New York City since the inauguration. They went to various places that are considered to be sacred to communists, including Greenwich Village, where they had dinner at Blue Hill. Those who have studied Manhattan know that it is a unique borough, and witches believe it is a magical place. I have been there fourteen times doing research. At fifteen minutes before sunset on only two days out of the year, the sun sets in exact alignment with Manhattan’s cross street grid. This causes the skyscrapers to function exactly like Stonehenge, the ancient Druid temple near Salisbury, England. This alignment is especially visible between 23rd Street and 42nd Street. Why did Obama pick this day charged with occult power to visit the crossroads of the world?

Holy Cow!⁵ I know this phenomenon to be true! (The Sun-setting part, not the Communist-Wiccan Conspiracy part…which is obviously true, nonetheless.)

(As a side-note, should I point out that Stonehenge was built well before the Celtic Druids showed up? Nah.)

The story so far: Judge Sonia Sotomayor is a witch named to the Supreme Court by Barack Hussein Obama, who is secret Muslim secret Jew Druid.



Barack Hussein Obama poses in the Rose Garden


Onward…

...5...4...3...2...1...

On June 9th, 2009, Obama was speaking to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on the telephone from the Oval Office in the White House. I have the photograph of the President, and he is sitting at his desk with both feet about level with his head and right in the lens of the camera. This was televised, and care was taken to make sure it was seen in Israel. Why would Obama sit in this position for the White House photographers? Why were both feet in the lens and dominating the photograph? In Middle Eastern countries, it is a great insult to show the soles of the shoes. This was brought out when the Iraqi man threw his shoes at George W. Bush; remember? Within an hour or so of this conversation, a violent storm hit Washington, D.C., and uprooted a 69-year-old tree on the White House lawn. It was a European linden tree that was planted there in 1940 when Hitler was at his apex of power. The linden tree is directly associated with Berlin and the very spot where Obama spoke while he was on the antichrist campaign trail in Berlin. Unter den Linden is a famous boulevard in the very center of Berlin, Germany.

The Hitler has landed!



Barack Hussein Obama and his Cabinet⁶


Adolph Hitler was, of course, a well-know Communist Nazi Islamo-Druid. But rumors of his being a child of Kenya are false.⁷

In early June, Obama and his wife and entourage went to Europe, making various stops and collecting honors, awards, and worship wherever he went. Then it was time for him to go to the Middle East where he visited Saudi Arabia and Egypt. While he was there, gasoline prices in the United States began to rise rapidly and are still rising. I must also note that Michelle Obama did not go with him to the Arab countries, but rather parted company with the President and returned home to Washington, D.C. I was informed by two Moslem Arabs that it was because it would have been a violation of Moslem sharia law for her, as a woman, to be with him. The President would not violate his religion.

So Obama isn’t a Druid after all?



Barack Hussein Obama prays (lower left)

While in Saudi Arabia, Obama was presented with an over-sized medallion on a gold chain, known as the King Abdul Aziz Order of Merit. This is the highest award that can be given in Saudi Arabia, and it is given only to the closest friends of the king.

Saudi King Abdullah and Barack Hussein Obama


What I find to be most disturbing, however, is the revelation that our first Druid Moslem President has used his magical powers to ruin the Great American Sport of Football: ⁸

[Mohammed] was...taken outside where he and Gabriel mounted a white stallion with eagle’s wings and flew to the sacred spots of the earth and through seven heavens ultimately to meet Allah face to face. The white-winged stallion was said to have belonged to Abraham and was named El Barack. Allah then told Mohammed that at the end of days the horse would return to the resurrected Mohammed to ride once again. The name Barack is associated with lightning and thunder. With Islam moving from east to west, is it any wonder why Obama chose to accept his nomination for President of the United States from the mile-high Denver Broncos’ Stadium, where east meets west in America? The Broncos team also had a mascot, which was a brilliant white Arabian stallion named Thunder. The horse died thirteen weeks after Obama was inaugurated. Strange forces are at work!

Strange AND convincing!

Just as convincing is Barack Hussein Obama, Secret Queer!

On June 1st, 2009, President Barack Hussein Obama brought another curse upon our nation when he officially declared June as “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Month.” Can you see the handwriting on the wall?

I can see the handwriting and it’s faaaaaabulous!⁹



New flag of the United States (proposed by Barack Hussein Obama)


The newsletter now proceeds to run down a list of natural disasters¹⁰ (one of which had the power of 1,500 Hiroshima bombs!), ominously concluding with the most frightening - and portential (<---is that even a word? Well, it is now.) of them all:

In February 2009, a strange and unique comet began to reach its closest point to earth. One report stated that it seemed to hang over Jerusalem briefly as it traveled by. The comet was unique because it was pale green in color from the gases being given off by it...The pale green color of the comet Lulin that appeared this past February is of great interest when we consider the words of Revelation 6:8, which reads as follows: “And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.” The word pale in this verse is taken from the Greek word cloros, which is a pale sickly green, the very color of the comet. From that word cloros, we derive the word chlorine, the halogen in group 17 that gives off that color as a gas.

The Eighth Sign of the Apocalypse^11,12

And:

On February 24th, 2009, another amazing event took place in the night skies over El Cajon, California. According to CBS News, it was witnessed and photographed by many people, and I have a copy of the photo. Three large Arabic numerals appeared in blood red color and in a triangular shape in the sky. NASA has no certain explanation for it. These eerie numerals were the Arabic sitta, which is the number six. Thus, a clear and distinct 666 in blood red appeared over California. These are the last of the last days!

Portent of doom: Three 6’s over El Cajon¹³

If these facts don’t convince you then you’re just a closed-minded bastard. But for those who understand these truths to be self-evident: See you at the next teabagging get-together!

(A special note to whoever forwarded this to me: I will find you and I will punish¹⁴ you for forcing me to spend three hours of my busy life to deal with this.)






Notes:

¹A bad play on words
²Another bad play on words.
³By which I mean Newt Gingrich, of course.
⁴Or perhaps a Druid (see below).
⁵To the best of my knowledge, Obama hasn’t been accused of being a secret Hindu (yet).
⁶Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, far right.
⁷Hitler was, in fact, a Bohemian Jew.
⁸Mohammed was a tailback for the old Baltimore Colts.
⁹I condemn this cruel stereotype of gay men.
¹⁰This post is quite the natural disaster, isn’t it?
¹¹The ninth through eighteenth being Jon and Kate Plus Eight.
¹²Also great for removing those grass stains!
¹³No word on the status of three pennies in the fountain.
¹⁴Not really.
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A Novel Idea

Loyal Bushie Greg Mankiw takes to the pages of the NYT to offer his solution to the health care crisis. The "Mankiw Plan" in sum:

In the end, it would be a mistake to expect too much from health insurance reform. A competitive system of private insurers, lightly regulated to ensure that the market works well, would offer Americans the best health care at the best prices.

Greg, honey, THAT'S THE SYSTEM WE HAVE NOW.

Idiot.

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Saturday Palate Cleanser

Hitler dislikes cheap font collections:

(For what it's worth, the actual clip is from the excellent 2004 film Downfall (Der Untergang).)

[Via Amanda.]

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Adding, Ol' Adolph really did freak out over certain fonts.

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Yes.

Continuing her jihad against the Constitutionally-mandated census, Minnesota's delightful Michele Bachmann today says:

"Does the federal government really need to know our phone numbers?" she asked. "Do they really need to know, like you said, the date and time that we leave mental stability?"

I, for one, would very much like to know "the date and time" at which Ms. Bachmann left mental stability.

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Your Modern GOP

Sen. Jim De-lovely De-lightful DeMint (R-Sharp as a Bag of Wet Mice) believes the Constitution was written in 1776.

I'm starting to think that there's something seriously wrong with South Carolina.

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