A Spork in the Drawer

Well-Adjusted Conservative Psyches

Yes, it's Jonah Goldberg but still:

The fact that young people think socialism is better than capitalism. That’s proof of what social scientists call their stupidity and their ignorance. And that’s something that conservatives have to beat out of them. Either literally or figuratively as far as I’m concerned.

The use of the word "literally" indicates, to me at least, that he means this literally.

Modern conservatives are a bit off in the head, you know.

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The Smartest Person In The World

Alan "The Maestro" Greenspan today:

Investors could revolt at a moment's notice against high government deficit levels, jeopardizing chances at a recovery and potentially sending interest rates soaring, former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan told CNBC.

[...]

"I listen to a lot of what people say that we don't have to worry. We can do it in our own time," Greenspan said in regard to trying to bring down Washington's $1.2 trillion budget gap. "Good luck. The markets have not been told this."

Alan "The Maestro" Greenspan in 2001:

Indeed, in almost any credible baseline scenario, short of a major and prolonged economic contraction, the full benefits of debt reduction are now achieved well before the end of this decade--a prospect that did not seem reasonable only a year or even six months ago. Thus, the emerging key fiscal policy need is now to address the implications of maintaining surpluses beyond the point at which publicly held debt is effectively eliminated."

To put it another way:

• Budget deficit = Disaster
• Balanced budget = Disaster
• Budget surplus = Disaster

It should go without saying these bullet points are malleable depending on what political ends one wishes to achieve: in the case of budget deficits Greenspan wants to cut taxes and spending to eliminate said deficits, while in the case of budget surpluses Greenspan wants to cut taxes and spending to eliminate said surpluses.

If you're sensing a pattern there, you're likely not alone.

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Barcoded

posted by gyma

Spork linked to a story the other day that would use RFID technology to track school kids. Next up?

The U.S. continues to flirt with the idea of a ‘human barcode,’ an electronic ID chip assigned to every person at birth, an innovation some say could make society more organized, safe and convenient.

Some say?! Why not just identify the 2 people who think this is a good idea? The rest of us are horrified by the thought.

(photo source)

Yeah, yeah, I know they aren't really barcodes but embedded chips, but I couldn't help myself.

The Green Shoots Of Recovery Summer

Perhaps some more austerity will fix what ails us.

There can be no doubt that we're ruled by the worst people in the world.

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Move Over, Sarah Palin

posted by gyma

The Queen outclasses Palin by wearing white gloves when she shoots!

[via Reddit]

Still Not Getting It

Tick-tock, tick-tock:

But what will happen if the euro blows up? Talk of that has intensified in recent weeks, as it became clear that the German diet of constant austerity was not attractive to voters in other countries.

Not attractive, maybe, but more importantly: austerity isn't working and won't work.

Perhaps if they crush the polities of a few more nations and appoint compliant technocrats to run things it will end in hugs and puppies!

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ADDED: Krugman:

So the austerity drive in Britain isn’t really about debt and deficits at all; it’s about using deficit panic as an excuse to dismantle social programs. And this is, of course, exactly the same thing that has been happening in America … economic recovery was never the point; the drive for austerity was about using the crisis, not solving it. And it still is.

There's a term for this but I can't quite recall it. Oh well.

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Fact

Sooner or later somebody - an unaffiliated organization, a small, no-account nation, or a major power - is going to wreck critical American computer systems.

You can practically hear the squealing already.

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Answer: No

Question: Will history be kind to George W. Bush?

That is all.

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What War On Women?

Healthcare:

An Oklahoma emergency room doctor refused to provide emergency contraception to a 24-year-old female rape victim because the medication violated the health provider’s personal beliefs, a local CBS News affilate reports. The hospital also denied the victim a rape kit, noting that it had no appropriate nurse on staff to administer the test.

The rape victim was forced to go to another hospital for proper medical treatment so no harm, no foul, right?

Taking a somewhat different tack, we have this conservative:

Jay Townsend, a campaign spokesman for Republican Rep. Nan Hayworth (NY-19), weighed in on a local Facebook discussion with a violent comment about Democratic women in Congress, and his suggestion is now earning the congresswoman condemnation from one of her Democratic challengers.

[...]

The comment:

Listen to Tom. What a little bee he has in his bonnet. Buzz Buzz. My question today … when is Tommy boy going to weigh in on all the Lilly Ledbetter hypocrites who claim to be fighting the War on Women? Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators who won’t abide the mandates they want to impose on the private sector.

Conservatives are clearly psychologically well-adjusted when it comes to dealing with the fairer sex.

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Snakebit

posted by gyma

Don't go hiking in rattlesnake country with anything but heavy leather boots unless you have $144K in spare change at your disposal.

That's how much a hospital in San Diego charged a Norwegian college student after he got on the wrong side of a baby rattler.

Why so expensive? Snake antivenom doesn't come cheap. In this case, the hospital charged $128K just for the antivenom.

Speaking of hospital costs, my insurance company finally processed my hospital bill and have agreed to pay $48,554 of the $53,950 billed. What I find interesting is the EOB lists room and board of $1,596 and then multiple "inpatient services" charges ranging from $81 to $14,896.

I can't wait to see what the hospital's statement looks like!

Beautifully Depressing

posted by gyma

From Polish illustrator, Pawel Kuczynski, come these interesting takes on some of the world's many problems:

And many more.

Unemployed And Looking For Work?

posted by gyma

Then you might want to consider moving to the Philippines:

America's second-largest bank is relocating its business-support operations to the Philippines, according to a high-ranking Filipino government official recently quoted in the Filipino press. The move, which includes a portion of the bank's customer service unit, comes less than three years after Bank of America received a $45 billion federal bailout.

But we can't establish/enforce finance reform because it might interfere with the job creators. 

What a joke.

The Latest Thing You Shouldn't Be Eating

It would seem the smart thing to do is to not eat at all:

Researchers tested foods like fish, beef, and deli meats from a local grocery stores in Dallas, Texas. They found that 15 of the 36 foods they tested had detectable levels of hexabromocyclododecane (HBCD), a brominated flame retardant often found in insulation and electrical equipment. HBCD has been linked to problems in the immune and reproductive systems and endocrine disruption, and has been found to cause neurotoxic effects in children. It is considered a "persistent organic pollutant" because it sticks around the environment for a long time, is toxic, and can travel over long distances. This is why chemicals from an electronics manufacturer can end up in waterways—and in fish—a long way away.

But somebody, somewhere - more likely, several somebodies, in several places - are making money because of this so it's all good.

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So That's What King Canute's Been Up To

The wise lawmakers of the great state of Nor'Carolina are considering legislation that would essentially order the sea level not to rise.

Creative thinking, is what I call it.

[Via Skepchick.]

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Your Money Ain't Really Yours

posted by gyma

Banks have become really clever in creating new ways to separate you and your money. First they convinced the government to put cash benefits such as food stamps on debit cards which carry fees in order to access the benefits.

Now banks are trying to convince college students to use debit cards loaded with their financial aid. Only problem is.... you guessed it, the fees!

As many as 900 colleges are pushing students into using payment cards that carry hefty costs, sometimes even to get to their financial aid money, according to a report to be released Wednesday by a public interest group.

Colleges and banks rake in millions from the fees, often through secretive deals and sometimes in apparent violation of federal law, according to the report, an early copy of which was obtained byThe Associated Press.

[snip]

Among the fees charged to students who open Higher One accounts: $50 if an account is overdrawn for more than 45 days, $10 per month if the student stops using his account for six months, $29 to $38 for overdrawing an account with a recurring bill payment and 50 cents to use a PIN instead of a signature system at a retail store.

In 2010, Higher One reported that $66 million of the $75 million it generated came from student ATM fees alone.

It won't be long before banks will cut a deal with your employer and your paycheck will be delivered to a debit card where you'll have to pay a fee to get to it.

 

 

WTF Wednesday

posted by gyma

Riding Mower, Man Town, First Down, 2X4, Bass Kill, Meat & Potatoes, Kegger, Strippers Mouth, Gentlemen's Pleasure, Down Time, the possibilities are endless.

These are actual names of man candles -- just in time for Father's Day!

 

I'm wondering why they haven't developed one that smells like beer and egg farts. Or bacon or exhaust fumes. Several years ago Mr. gyma coined the phrase Truck Seat, which he used whenever someone drenched in cologne drifted too close.

Mind you, this is not The Onion, but comes from one of the manufacturer's press releases:

 

It's all indoor air pollution to me!

There's An App For That Sort Of Stupid

Story.

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Freedom And Liberty!

The future is nigh:

Following the lead of two other school districts in the state, San Antonio, Texas’ Northside Independent School District is planning a pilot program that tracks students using transmitters inside identification cards. Why? For the money, apparently.

Next year, ID cards outfitted with Radio Frequency Identification System (RFID) technology will be given to students at John Jay High School, Anson Jones Middle School, and all special education students who use district buses — totaling around 6,290 students, according to The San Antonio Express-News. If the pilot program is successful, the district wants to use the ID cards at all of its 111 schools, with a student population of almost 100,000. The Express-News reports that the district plans to spend $525,065 implementing the pilot program and $136,005 per year to run it. District officials say the the ID cards represent a big potential revenue stream.

And there's a prediction:

[Northside Independent School District Deputy Superintendent Brian] Woods thinks privacy concerns will fade.

A few fringy lefties and righties will object but most people will simply shrug and go on to other things.

The United States of America is building a surveillance state that will be more comprehensive and effective (and profitable) than can be imagined. Somewhere Markus Wolf is looking on with amazement and envy.

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Or To Put It Another Way

If everyone's a hero, then nobody is.

I'm becoming less and less able to deal with the stupid.

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Blogger Public Service Announcement

posted by gyma

Don't, I said DON'T, use these 100 words while blogging unless you'd like a visit from DHS.

(I fully expect Spork will spend hours crafting a blog post that uses all 100 words multiple times!)

Drilling For Profits

posted by gyma

I saw my dentist for my 6-month cleaning last week and we had a brief conversation about the future of dentistry. My dentist is in his 50s and practices dentristy the way I like: minimally. He's not suggesting I have all my amalgam fillings replaced, the way my ex-dentist did. Or forcing me to have panoramic x-rays every year. He also does everything himself -- including the cleanings.

His daughter recently graduated from dental school and the future of dentristy is likely corporatization. Students graduate with excessive student loan debt and the cost of setting up private practice is too costly. So nearly all newly minted dentists are being hired by corporations such as Comfort Dental. Ack!

And what do you think that means for the future of dentistry? Here, let Bloomberg explain it to you:

Isaac’s dentist was dispatched to his school by ReachOut Healthcare America, a dental management services company that’s in the portfolio of Morgan Stanley Private Equity, operates in 22 states and has dealt with 1.5 million patients. Management companies are at the center of a U.S. Senate inquiry, and audits, investigations and civil actions in six states over allegations of unnecessary procedures, low-quality treatment and the unlicensed practice of dentistry.

Isaac, the 4-year old kid mentioned above, had 2 steel crowns put on baby teeth after having root canals done on them. This was performed at school, without his parents' permission. Poor kids are being subjected to painful dental procedures so some greedy bastard can make a profit on Wall Street on the taxpayer's dime.

You shouldn't be surprised to learn much of the so-called "profit" comes from Medicaid fraud. Republicans bitch constantly about government fraud, although they only bitch when Democrats are in power.

Otherwise, it's all good.

Suggest Teens Use Condoms, Get Fired

posted by gyma

In the race to be named worst state in the union (soon to be trademarked by Spork), today's nominee is New Mexico. Why?

Because the state's chief medical officer, Erin Bouquin, suggested teens use condoms to control veneral disease. Oh, the horrors!

This was in response to a reporter's question on how the state could combat the soaring teen chlaymida rates. Her response:

“Use condoms. Condoms are very very important in controlling sexually transmitted diseases,” Bouquin answered. She also noted what she called “the ABCs” — abstinence, be faithful and birth control.

Before the day was over, Bouquin was given the option of resigning or being fired.

She resigned.

[link via Addicting Info]

Life In This The Freest Nation On Earth

The greatest threat facing this nation: schoolkids:

Mississippi, will no longer handcuff students to poles or other objects and will train staff at its alternative school on better methods of discipline.

Here's the punchline:

The settlement, approved by U.S. District Judge Tom Lee, says all district employees will stop handcuffing students younger than 13, and can only handcuff older students for crimes. In no case will employees shackle a student to a fixed object such as a railing, a pole, a desk or a chair. [emphasis added]

As Athenae asks, "Why are "district employees" allowed to handcuff students "for crimes" at all?"

One possible answer: because Americans simply love punishing people.

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Well Duh

It turns out not having a national broadband internet policy results in having crappy internet service.

The aversion to any sort of national planning in this country will be the death of us.

[Via Tim Karr.]

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Because It's Sunday

posted by gyma

A gift from the heartland:

[via]

Holiday Art Pointer

Good piece on Francesca Woodman in the Telegraph.

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Saturday Palate Cleanser

What, you gonna argue with doctors?

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The Road To Serfdom

Medieval England:

The kings rapidly discovered that abridging their rights in the royal forests could provide a useful source of income. Local nobles could be granted a royal licence to take a certain amount of game. The common inhabitants of the forest might, depending on their location, possess a variety of rights[.]

Gov. Scott Walker's Wisconsin, 2012:

If [Walker's "deer czar" Dr. James] Kroll gets his way, public land hunters will get the shaft. The deer herd no longer would be managed as a public resource, but as the private property of wealthy landowners. Wisconsin will become like Europe, where hunting is the privilege of the wealthy.

[...]

To people who do not own land, or who cannot pay for access to other people’s land, Walker and Kroll’s message is simple: tough luck.

Any questions?

[Via Phoenix Woman.]

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Strangling Regulations!

Meanwhile, in New York's New York:

Roughly 40 examiners from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York and 70 staff members from the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency are embedded in the nation’s largest bank … as the chief investment office swelled in size and made increasingly large bets, regulators did not put any examiners in the unit’s offices in London or New York, according to current and former regulators who spoke only on condition of anonymity.

Senior JPMorgan executives assured the bank’s watchdogs after the financial crisis that the chief investment office, with hundreds of billions in investments, was not taking risks that would be a cause for concern, people briefed on the matter said. Just weeks before the trading losses became public, bank officials also dismissed the worry of a senior New York Fed examiner about the mounting size of the bets, according to current Fed officials.

If we'd just get rid of the regulations strangling businesses this wouldn't have happened. You'd think that since Jamie Dimon sits on the board of the New York Fed he could have put an end to these strangling regulations which are strangling businesses.

Further...

When asked on PBS’s “NewsHour” last week about JPMorgan, Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner said that regulators needed to “be above any political influence.” He did not say Mr. Dimon should resign from the Fed, but he acknowledged that the perception of a conflict was “a problem.”

What Secretary Geithner calls a "problem" I call "capitalism at it's finest!".

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He's Sick Of Your Whining So Shut Up

Amitai Etzioni, sociologist, communitarian (a fancy way of saying the majority should rule minorities), advocate of the bomb-Iran-back-to-the-stone-age policy, and all-around jackass of the first order has wearied of your complaints about losing your privacy and wants you to know that because you can password protect your digital stuff you have more privacy today than at any time in history. Sure, governments, corporations, and other large institutions are able to look into every aspect of your public and personal life and can even bypass your passwords but other than that, your privacy has never been better protected.

So just shut up already, losers.

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Democrats We Can Do Without

Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Democrats: Brave Enough to Seize Defeat.

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